Panicked...

I had a panic attack this morning as I was thinking about the applications that I've already submitted. Were they good enough? Did I include enough details? Is everything clear? Did I write about the right topics? I even went so far as to reread my essays. That was a bad idea -- it just made me more worried. I don't think that I've ever been under so much stress, and I still have 3 more applications to work on. I know, I know...this is when I'm supposed to walk by faith. But it's just so hard. If you see me sweating or profusely crying, it's because I'm having a meltdown. Just offer a hug and I should be fine.

Happy Tofurkey Day!!!

Just kidding. I'm such a carnivore that there's no way I could ever eat tofurkey.

Despite the levels of stress that I've been experiencing as of late due to applications and the weary state of my company, I realize that I have so much to be thankful for this year. So in no particular order, here they are:

1. My parents and my brother -- without whom, I would really be homeless right now, but mainly for all of their support and love for the past 25 years

2. Law McGraw -- for being so loving and caring even when I snap at him due to my levels of stress and for showing me what love really is

3. My friends -- for constantly checking up on me and offering words of encouragement even when I seem to have fallen off of the face of the earth for the past 6 months

4. My job -- despite the shaky situation that we're in right now, I'm thankful for all the things that I've learned there and the daily challenges that have made me stronger over the past 3.5 years

5. My overall health and happiness -- despite what I believe to be "huge" crises in my daily life, I realize that I have it so much better than a lot of people in the world

Have a Happy Thanksgiving all! (I shall now eat a dinner filled with turkey and slip into a food-induced coma.)

Michael...Swoon!!!

In the midst of panicking and freaking out about b-school essays, I decided to take a break and watch Friends. And lo and behold...it was the Thanksgiving episode with Michael Vartan!!!! I had somehow forgotten how cute he was and swooned the entire time that he was on the screen. I'll admit that his acting skills aren't so hot, but the cute little smile and the left-handedness are enough to make me giggle like a school girl. What ever am I going to do now that he's not on Alias? Darn those people for killing him off.

Where's Home?

After a weekend of cleaning, packing, and attempting to squeeze a couch out of a narrow doorway, I'm moved out of my apartment. With my recent hectic schedule, I haven't had a chance to really tell anyone that I'm moving, so here's my public announcement. My roommate and her boyfriend attempted to politely ask me to move out of the apartment since they had moved their wedding date up to May and wanted the whole place to themselves. When I say politely, I'm being overly generous. It was probably one of the rudest experiences I had ever encountered. Honestly, I was truly pissed about the whole thing and the past two weeks in our apartment were quite interesting. Since my name wasn't on the lease and I was starting to hate the apartment on the whole, I decided to just move out as soon as I could. If they hadn't been so rude in essentially kicking me out of my home, I probably would have attempted to work something out, but at this point, I just wanted to never see either one of them again.

So now I've moved all of my belongings to my parents' house and my brother's house. They have generously agreed to house me in both homes until I move for school next year. I'll also be staying with Law McGraw from time to time, since my heart is still quite fond of the city, despite my recent towing incident.

But it's kind of weird to not really have my own place anymore. I haven't lived in the suburbs in almost 4 years. This will be interesting, but I'm looking forward to the short commutes to work and to the money that I'll save for not having to pay rent anymore. Maybe my road rage won't be so bad anymore and maybe I won't have to take out ginormous loans for school next year. All in all, not having to live with people you don't like is priceless.

I Hate Chicago

Even though I've lived here for 25 years, I'll admit that I'm starting to get sick of this place. Just 4 days ago, I was sitting in a park in San Francisco with a t-shirt and jeans on and I was actually warm. And now, I'm in a turtleneck sweater with a long wool coat and it's snowing outside. I used to think that I would miss the snow if I moved away and that the Chicago weather made the Midwesterners tougher. Obviously, I was on crack. I'm looking forward to the days of warm weather and the lack of owning enough sweaters for an army.

Aside from the cold weather, I hate Mayor Daley. Because of him and his retarded city, my car was towed this morning. I was parked in a rush hour zone which stated that towing would start at 7am. I literally got out to my car at 7:02am and the dude had just started putting my car onto the tow truck. I pleaded, I begged, I even offered cash on the spot. No luck. $210 later and an hour late for work, I finally had my car back. Well, to Mayor Daley and all your minions that run this city, I hope that karma catches up with you. Even better, I hope you enjoy the flames of the afterlife.

Out of My Hands

Just a few minutes ago, I hit the Submit button for my UCLA Anderson application. That means that I'm done with all of my Round 1 applications. Ross, Haas, and Anderson are under my belt. I would have thought that a significant weight would have been lifted off of my shoulders, but instead, the complete opposite is true. I've started to have even more panic attacks every couple of seconds, wondering if my essays were good enough or if I picked the right topics to write about.

But I guess that this is the moment when I'm supposed to walk by faith. I need to believe that things will work out and that which ever school I get into will be the one that's right for me. There's nothing more that I can do anymore. I've hit submit and the schools have received everything that they need from me. All I can do is pray and cross my fingers that I'll get an acceptance.

Please let my faith grow.

Down But Not Out

This weekend was a disappointing loss for the Wildcats. Between holding calls, interceptions, and a huge fumble, the Wolverines essentially stopped the Wildcats for the entire 2nd half of the game. I never thought that college football could affect me so much, but I was honestly sad and bummed for the rest of Saturday night.

But I will not despair. The Wildcats have three more games left. If they can win at least two of them, then there will be some bowl action. The Wildcats are probably not going to beat OSU in Ohio, but I think that they have really good chances with both Iowa and Illinois. I will not lose faith in them. (Despite all the administrative difficulties I've had with them over the years. Seriously, why would anyone think that my name is Jody Thom?)

So if anyone's looking for me on Saturday, I'll probably be perched somewhere with my eyeballs glued to the tv. In addition, I will be celebrating the submission of my first-round applications! Woo Hoo!!! Of course, until then, I need to craft a good essay on why I want to be in LA next year.

To all my Wildcats out there: Keep the faith. I will see all of you at a Bowl Game!!!