Bouncy Super Balls

I Don't Need to Buy Any Cats...

2007-07-15T15:08:00.000-05:00

...because I'm engaged!

I'm as a Loss for Witty Titles

2007-04-08T00:02:00.000-05:00

I should be working on a strategy midterm right now, and I should be writing an ethics paper. But instead, I figured that I would write a blog entry. Why can't they grade me on this instead?

Can someone explain to me how it became April? There's one more month of school left, which means that in less than 30 days, I will be done with my first year of business school. It's definitely been a fun and rocky journey so far. I'm not sure that I'm any closer to really knowing what I want to do when I grow up. I do know that I will be spending the summer in the Bay Area working at a fabulous summer internship. I'm a bit sad that I won't be going back to Chicago for the summer, but I'll be back there more than enough for an overwhelming number of weddings this summer and early fall.

Since I should be saving all my prose for my assignments, I'll leave you all with some pictures of Law McGraw and I in Vegas, where we spent an extended weekend and came home minutely richer than when we left. And contrary to popular belief, we did not get married in Vegas. :)

A True "Shaky" Californian

2007-03-02T00:49:00.000-06:00

After living in the Bay Area for the past 7 months, I can finally say that I'm a true California girl. At 8:40pm PST tonight, I felt my first earthquake. The news reported that it was a 4.3 on the Richter scale, but as this Midwestern girl will tell you, it felt a lot stronger than that. I saw my entire apartment sway from side to side for about 15 seconds, and some of my belongings even shifted. Now I know why there are no skyscrapers out here.

So after living through this "light" earthquake, I think that I'm ready to move back to Chicago. Even though there's snow there and it's cold for about 9 months out of the year, the ground is flat and it never moves. Not even a slight tremor of any kind. I might need to analyze the tradeoffs between sunshine and snow, but Chicago has the edge at the moment.

Skipped a Beat

2007-02-12T12:39:00.000-06:00

Despite the rain, I spent the weekend down in Pebble Beach at the Pro-Am Tournament. As we can all see, my ability to do schoolwork is fairly non-existent this semester, which is somewhat of a problem, because there's so much of it this time around.

Anyway, I've never watched a golf tournament before, and sadly, I have to admit that watching paint dry would probably be more interesting. Fortunately, I did see several celebrities, including Bill Murray, Emmitt Smith, Kevin James, Peter Gallagher (from the OC), Kevin Costner, Michael Bolton, and Ray Romano. The highlight of the weekend was when I saw Tom Brady. My heart definitely skipped a beat. I was an arm's length away from all 6'5" of him. I would post pictures, but there were strict rules against cameras.

And sadly, I'm now back in Berkeley for another week of classes. Why again did I decide to come back to school?

My Own Worst Nightmare

2007-02-03T01:38:00.000-06:00

I made the big switch today and became what I never wanted to become -- a corporate whore. Not that I wasn't a corporate whore back in the day, but today, I bought a PDA/Smartphone. Back in the day when I was working, my company bought us all Palm Pilots. Then at my next job, we were all given Blackberrys. Mine never left my desk. But now, I actually went out and bought one for myself. With my recent schedule, my calendar was starting to explode and I knew that I needed something more to organize my life than my current pile of post-it notes and scraps of paper.

So today, he became my new best friend. I haven't quite decided what I want to name him yet. Any suggestions? My only issue now is the fact that I need to figure out how to transfer my pictures of Michael Vartan from my old phone onto my new phone.

Bankruptcy

2007-01-12T17:29:00.000-06:00

So I found out today that the company I worked at straight out of undergrad has closed its doors. Bankruptcy. None of the remaining workers get to keep their jobs. Not even a Chapter 11 "reorganization" filing, but a Chapter 7 "we're done -- throw the towel in" filing.

Hearing this news, I can't decide whether I'm happy or I'm sad. This was, after all, my first job out of undergrad. The place where I was promoted twice and given a lot of responsibility for someone in their early twenties. It was the first place where I felt like I was making a real impact in people's lives. From traveling around the world to meeting high profile nephrologists and patients, I grew to think of it as home. I had the opportunity to work with some of the brightest biomedical engineers and the chance to make some lifelong friends. I even had the chance to meet Dean Kamen and to test drive a Segway.

But at the same time, this was the same place that laid me off. This was the same place that had vice presidents who could barely type emails. Sometimes, I'm surprised that we even had a product out there in the market, when we could barely handle the design issues we faced in-house. Part of me thinks that they had this coming the entire time.

But overall, I think that I am sad. I'm sad for all the patients out there who were using our product. From the numerous patients that I visited during my career, I knew that all of our long nights and weekends were not for naught. Peoples' lives improved with our product, and now we're taking it away from them. Fortunately, we have some very successful competitors out there who will just pick up where we left off.

I didn't think that I would be filled with so much emotion upon hearing this news, but I guess that the company will always be part of my history. It forever holds both a place in my heart and on my resume.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-25T14:58:00.000-06:00

Time for a Celebration!

2006-11-19T19:02:00.000-06:00

Law McGraw PASSED the California Bar!!!!!! I'm extremely proud of him, because I surely know that I never would have been able to pass it. Three 8-hour days of testing....and without numbers. I would have been an immediate goner.

This also means that at least one of us will be earning an income. And for someone who's cash burn rate is currently much faster than her earnings rate, that is a good thing. :)

Where Did All the Time Go?

2006-10-29T21:20:00.000-06:00

Seriously, where did all the time go? I'm halfway through my first semester of business school, and I've already finished four of my core classes. In just a couple of weeks, it'll be Thanksgiving...the first one ever without my family. But luckily for me, I'm being adopted by my future family.

But more than just calendar time, how did time pass so quickly? I received a Save the Date magnet from one of my friends, and looked through the wedding website of another. I know of 8 couples getting married in 2007. These people come from all walks of my life -- family members, co-workers, college roommates, and high school friends. It seemed like just yesterday we were teenagers trying to figure out which college to attend. And here are my friends...getting married, having kids, and scary as it may be, saving lives.

Just yesterday, I received a letter letting me know that my 5th year reunion is coming up at Northwestern. That means that my 10th year reunion at GBN isn't that far behind. I've found that as I'm considering my next career, an important aspect for me to consider is work-life balance. Not because I want to see my friends more, but because I know that I want to start a family. The idea of spending 4 days on the road living out of a suitcase as a consultant just doesn't seem like the best way to start a family. Am I really at this point in my life where kids and family are starting to affect my decisions? What happened?

Still Alive...But Barely

2006-09-24T14:02:00.000-05:00

So I've been bombarded by people about my lack of updating this thing. It's not that nothing is going on in my life. In fact, it's the complete opposite. Too much is currently going on in my life. For the past month, I've been juggling new classes, new classmates, and new career choices. It's been quite a juggle, but I'm slowly getting used to it. There were moments when I wondered what I was doing here. Do I really need an MBA? But with every career presentation I go to and class that I attend, I realize that this is where I want to be. In addition, my classmates are awesome. I've found several people that I really like hanging out with, and their backgrounds are so cool. One of my good friends worked in the Executive Office of the President and did economic policy for Bush. Another one of my friends ran campaigns for senators and governors. How cool is that?

But aside from school, I've been preoccupied with some very happy Hom news. My brother is getting married!!! Woo hoo! It came as a bit of a shocker for me and my parents, but we're more than happy for him. Congrats to Ben and Amy! Their wedding is September of 2007 in Boston, so it should be a lot of fun. I only wish that I was closer to home so that I could see the two of them more often.

So anyone that's around in Chicago, stop by and congratulate them! Or better yet, send them an email.

I Left My Heart in Chicago

2006-08-16T18:01:00.000-05:00

My post summarizing our cross-country trip is forthcoming, but for the moment, I'm consumed in Finance homework and happy hours. But with my spare moment, I thought that I would let everyone know that California has stolen a Chicago girl. In a matter of three days, I lost most of my roots to Chicago. I got a CA driver's license, registered my car in CA, bought CA car insurance, and converted all of my bank accounts. The only thing that still ties me to Chicago is my 847 cell phone number.

Fortunately, Law McGraw and I have Chicago posters and Cubs pennants hanging all over our apartment. I guess that California can officially claim me as one of its residents, but my heart is still in Chicago. My Midwestern roots are just way too deep.

We're Here!

2006-08-06T13:54:00.000-05:00

Law McGraw and I made it to Berkeley safe and sound on Thursday night. We've spent the past couple of days in Monterey, CA with his parents, and moved into our new place yesterday. Since we have minimal furniture and belongings until the movers come, we've been fairly bored. Luckily, the coffee shop near our place has free wifi and we're checking our email over here.

Anywho, I'll be doing a full update of our cross-country trip complete with pictures once we find the cord for the camera. In the meantime, I'll be savoring my last full day of freedom before the MBA adventure begins.

Greetings From Omaha!

2006-08-01T00:02:00.000-05:00

Law McGraw and I started our westward adventure this morning, and we were able to make it to Omaha, Nebraska after a day of driving. The morning was eventful as our movers loaded up all of our belongings and we loaded up my clown car. After a tearful goodbye with my parents, we were off to explore everything and anything between Chicago and San Francisco.

Sadly, we have to admit that there hasn't been much so far. We spent most of the day crossing Illinois and Iowa, where almost everything outside of our window consisted of corn. Omaha itself has been fine. There are a bunch of restaurants and hotels, but we haven't done any other exploring.

We'll be off again in the morning. Hopefully, we'll make it to Denver in time for a Rockies game and some beers with my new classmates. I'll try to update with some pictures tomorrow!

85% of the Way There

2006-07-29T01:53:00.000-05:00

It's 1:50 in the morning, and I'm still awake because I have to go pick up Law McGraw from the airport in about an hour. As I'm sitting here in my semi-empty room and writing this, I realize that we only have about 65 more hours left in Chicago. The movers confirmed today that they were going to be here on Monday between 11 and 1. After that, it'll be time to fire up the clown car and start on our cross-country trip.

About 85% of my belongings are either in suitcases or boxes. I'm starting to get really sad about the last couple of days I have left here in this fabulous city. But for some reason, it doesn't really seem like I'm moving. In my mind, I feel as though I'm just going on one of those vacations out to Monterey and that I'll be back again in a week. This time, though, I won't be back to Chicago until at least December. I guess it'll be just in time for the frigid temperatures and snow. (Speaking of frigid temperatures, it felt so liberating to not have to pack my long wool coat.)

For the past 8 months, my life has been anything but normal and what I'm used to. Before December, I had been living in the city for the past three years and had been working full time at the same company. But all at once, I moved out of my apartment and back to my parents; house in the suburbs. (That's a whole different story that I don't want to get into right now.) And then, I was laid off from my job. So for a couple of months, I was working on business school applications and interviews, where the hours were mainly set by me. Then, I started working downtown for a boutique investment banking firm, and was in an entirely different element there. I did, however, learn a crapload of acronyms, like EBITDA. And now, I'm getting ready to move all of my stuff halfway across the country to start a whole new career path and to live with Law McGraw. I still haven't quite gotten used to the idea that I was laid off and will probably never be an engineer again. Somewhere in my mind, I feel like I'm just on a sabbatical and that I'll be returning to Lincolnshire and dialysis again.

These past 8 months have been somewhat surreal, but in a very good way. Although the path was rocky in getting to where I am today, I can't wait to see what's in store for the future. But for now, I'll enjoy what I have left of Chicago and all the loved ones I have here.

What to Save and What Not to Save?

2006-07-26T19:02:00.000-05:00

Amidst my packing frenzy, I've realized that the reason this is taking so long is because I am some sort of odd packrat. With every item that I come across, I have an internal monologue regarding whether or not I should keep it at my parents' house, throw it away, or pack it with me. My most recent monologue was regarding my Mark Prior jersey. Is this something that I should take with me to California? Do I ever even really wear it? Can Mark Prior not suck so much?

And then I came across some old coasters from the hotel I stayed at for my first ever business trip. Nestled amongst the hills in Boulder, the Hotel Boulderado was fabulous. I had a suite room with a king size bed and enough sitting space for a small army. Even better, the hotel newsletter stated that some of the rooms were haunted. All great memories, but do I need the coasters from there? Hmmm...after some hemming and hawing, I decided to throw them away.

Now imagine this process repeated for about 1000 different items in my room. If anyone needs me, I'll be at my parents' house buried under a pile of crap and having some internal monologues.

It's Hard to be Poor

2006-07-25T01:08:00.000-05:00

This is extremely girly, but I really want this. Why is it now that I have no income?

The Second Goodbye

2006-07-25T00:51:00.000-05:00

I bid my second farewell to a significant part of Chicago for me -- my Chicago bank accounts. I've had these bank accounts ever since the early 90's and went through three different mergers and acquisitions with them. But sadly, they have not made it out to the west coast yet, so I had to bid them farewell today. I transferred all of my funds, limited as they may be, to another bank.

Please continue to lift up a prayer and some good thoughts for Law McGraw. The California Bar starts tomorrow!!!!

Good Thoughts and Prayers

2006-07-22T17:15:00.000-05:00

The California Bar is coming up for Law McGraw on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. He's been studying super hard every day, but all prayers and good thoughts are welcome! Thanks!

The First Goodbye

2006-07-19T00:28:00.000-05:00

I had dinner with a good friend the other night, and I realized that it was my first goodbye to Chicago. I met L back at my first job when we were fresh-faced college graduates ready to tackle the engineering world. Despite our hopes to conquer the dialysis world, we were both met with the same fate. Over the past 4 years, though, we developed a very close friendship.

My Top Ten Memories of L:
1. L being late to work because a rat had gotten stuck in his engine belt
2. L and I trying out the Orange-Cream flavored Kit Kats and utterly hating them
3. L and I trying the "pork rind-like" snack from the vending machine with the mystery sauce
4. L and I on the hunt for the Mega M&M, and finally realizing that they weren't that mega
5. Watching L's movie and really understanding what it is that makes him tick
6. Borrowing L's copy of The Da Vinci Code and ignoring him everyday at lunch so I could finish reading it
7. L's role in my life as a public library and Netflix
8. Thinking that somebody had made L W-shaped Tater Tots as a special present
9. The picture of L in front of the Mustang he rented on his trip to Delphi
10. The countless hours we spent in the car going to and from Lincolnshire

Saying goodbye to Chicago is going to be harder than I thought.

Is This Wrong?

2006-07-15T02:21:00.000-05:00

I can't believe that I'm going to admit this, but there are some country songs that I actually like. While cleaning out my room in hopes of packing tonight, I came across a CD of Garth Brooks' greatest hits. I popped it into my laptop and listened to some fo the songs. Surprisingly, I actually enjoyed several of the songs. The messages in them were striking and pulled at my heart strings. This might be attributable to the high level of emotions I have right now. Let's hope it is. Otherwise, this warm-blooded Yankee is living in the wrong region of the country. Although, I have been known to let a Southern drawl slip out on some of my words every so often. Maybe this is the real reason why my dad named me Jody Ann. I'm secretly a Confederate.

Packing Party!!!

2006-07-14T12:14:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting here on the floor of my room surrounded by piles of clothes and empty boxes, but I can't seem to make myself start the actual packing process. Instead, I've taken the time to read through old letters and homework, in hopes of parsing out some of the junk.

I think that, subconsciously, I'm afraid to start packing, because then it really means that I'm moving. Don't get me wrong. I'm excited about moving to California, starting school, and living with Law McGraw, but I'm just not ready to say goodbye to Chicago and to my all of my family and friends. Having lived in the Chicago area for the past 25 years, it'll be weird to be 2000 miles away from my parents. We've always had a very close relationship and it'll just be weird to not be able to pop over to their house to have dinner or to discuss random news issues. I've been teaching them how to work most of the electronic gadgets at home, such that they'll still be able to operate them when I'm not around. We're definitely making a lot of progress.

So if anyone wants to, they're more than welcome to come to my house and to help me pack up all my stuff. Any takers?

A New Haircut?

2006-07-09T23:35:00.000-05:00

I've had the same haircut with long face-framing layers for about 8 years. Possibly even longer. Since I'm about to start a new chapter in my life, I've been wondering whether or not I should also get a new haircut. I've been secretly coveting the long side-swept bangs look for awhile. My only hesitations are:

1. I've never had bangs.
2. I have to have every single strand of hair off of my face when I run.

So I can't decide, should I get the long bangs? I'm afraid that I'll like it for the first 5 hours after I get home from the salon, but then hate it every minute after that for the next 6 months. And I really wouldn't want to put Law McGraw through the misery of listening to me complain about my hair.

Roadtrip 2006

2006-07-03T02:08:00.000-05:00

Law McGraw and I are going to be driving my little red clown car out to California starting on July 31. Does anyone know of any fun cities or places that we should stop at along the way? The only city on our current itinerary is Denver, where we hope to see a Rockies game and meet up with one of my classmates. Other than that, we're open to any suggestions. I personally want to see the World's Biggest Ball of Twine, but I think that's in Minnesota. Not so much on the way to San Francisco.

A Moment of Silence

2006-06-30T12:11:00.000-05:00

The Northwestern community is shrouded in grief today due to the untimely death of football coach, Randy Walker. As an avid fan of Wildcats football and a part of alumni community, I am deeply saddened to hear that the life of such a caring and dedicated man was cut short. My thoughts go out to his family today as I continue to realize how short life really is.

Happy Birthday

2006-06-27T21:58:00.000-05:00

Happy Birthday, Jennie!!! (Or is it Jenni?)

Rolling on the Floor in Tears

2006-06-27T14:41:00.000-05:00

This had me laughing and crying for about 5 minutes last night.

"Look at me posing. I'm such a stud."

Maybe y'all had to be there.

Wish Me Luck!

2006-06-19T17:56:00.000-05:00

I'm headed off to Berkeley tomorrow morning (and I mean early morning) to look for an apartment. I'll be there until Saturday afternoon, and I'm extremely nervous about the whole thing. Please send all good thoughts and prayers my way in hopes that I will find an apartment. See y'all at the end of the week!

The Countdown Begins

2006-06-17T20:02:00.000-05:00

I just realized that I have about six more weeks left in Chicago. Correction: It's probably more along the lines of 5 weeks since I'll be in the Bay Area looking for an apartment next week.

Speaking of apartments, I have this horrible fear that I won't be able to find one during the 5 days that I'll be out there. What if I don't find an apartment? Will I have to live out of a shoe? What if every 2BR apartment within a 3 mile radius of campus that is close to both a Bart stop and a bus stop has been rented out? I know that these are things that I need to not worry about. Pray that I'll find somewhere to live that's within my price range and convenient for both Law McGraw to get to work and for me to get to school.

But for all of you in Chicago, I will definitely try to get together with you as much as I can over the next couple of weeks before I leave. And look forward to an invite for a party to celebrate the past 25 years that I've spent in the Windy City. If y'all are lucky, the ol' drunken me of circa 2002 will be in full effect.

Anxiety Attacks

2006-06-15T21:47:00.000-05:00

I've been having anxiety attacks recently and I don't forsee them going away for the next 2 years.

Things on my to-do list:
1. Find an apartment
2. Buy a new laptop
3. Figure out how to get my car to California
4. Pack up all my stuff
5. Learn statistics, accounting, and finance
6. Convert my resume to the Haas format
7. Take a self-test on quantitative methods
8. Sign up for orientation events
9. Take several career assessment tests
10. Buy new business clothes

I'm utterly scared of what's to come.

Even More Congratulations!

2006-06-14T14:51:00.000-05:00

Further congratulations are in store for Law McGraw's graduation from law school! Last week was spent with the entire McGraw clan exploring the city of Chicago and enjoying all that it has to offer. This mainly meant eating rich meals at Giordano's and Fogo de Chao, laughing until we cried at Second City, and watching the Sox win. Interspersed into there was a trip to Hyde Park to watch Law McGraw graduate.

Law McGraw and I in front of the U Chicago Law School (aka "the black box")

The entire McGraw clan and I with the graduate

Apparently, individuals receiving some form of doctorate degree get to wear a fancy robe with velvet and a tam made of velvet. Plus, they get hooded. This makes me rethink my entire MBA choice. Maybe I should have gone to law school instead.

Congrats to Law McGraw on his law school graduation!!!

Congratulations!

2006-06-14T13:04:00.000-05:00

It's a girl!

I wanted to congratulate the Brennemans for their little bundle of joy, Simona Lucille. She's such a beautiful baby.

And just think, she's the same age as Brangelina's baby. :)

Call For Help

2006-06-12T15:08:00.000-05:00

I need to buy a new laptop for b-school, and I'm looking for any kind of help that I can get. The last laptop that I bought was a Dell Inspiron 4150 when I graduated from undergrad 4 years ago. It doesn't have Intel Centrino or any of that fancy wireless business, so I figured that it was time to shake hands with the rest of technology. I'm thinking of getting a Lenovo, since that seems to be what all the cool business people use. I just don't know if it's worth the extra money. Does anyone know whether an Intel or an AMD CPU is better? And what's with these new widescreen models? Does anyone still make the traditional screens?

Seriously, any computer techy help is needed. I will buy you loads of ice cream cones in exchange. :)

The Second Elderite to Go

2006-06-07T11:16:00.000-05:00

As promised, here are the pictures from Danny's wedding. He was the second Elderite to be married.

Ani and Danny being crowned during the Armenian ceremony

Danny and Ani entering the Bellevue for the reception

The First Dance

Cutting the Cake (Don't the cake and Ani look beautiful?)

Jeff (Fellow Elderite and Groomsman) with Bri

Danny and his sister Caroline

Kirk (Best Man and Fellow Elderite) and Steph

Danny and I

Sarah (Fellow Elderite and Kemperite) and Juan

Nancy and Caleb (My Favorite Expectant Parents)

Lauren (Fellow Elderite and Kemperite) and John

Me, Lauren, and Sarah

The Kemper Whores Ready to Party

Robb, Me, Lauren, and Ken

The Entire Northwestern Crew

The wedding was truly beautiful and I had a great time seeing all of my fellow wildcats again. Congrats, Ani and Danny!

My Boyfriend's a Lawyer, But...

2006-06-02T12:06:00.000-05:00

that has nothing to do with me.

I initially didn't want to blog about this, but it's something that's been nagging me for the past couple of weeks. At Danny’s wedding a couple of weeks ago, I ran into an ex-boyfriend from my freshman year at Northwestern. Let’s call him “M” for Mistake. I know that that may sound harsh, but it’s the best way that I can summarize my feelings about the whole relationship.

M and I chit-chatted about what we had been doing the past couple of years. I told him about my years doing engineering and my recent switch to investment banking. I also told him about the upcoming move to the Bay Area to attend Haas. He told me about his graduate school experience and his new job as a consultant. Things were going fine until we started talking about our current romantic relationships. He told me that his girlfriend was living in the Bay Area and they were doing a long-distance thing. I told him about Law McGraw and our plans of moving to San Francisco together. The real killer was this:

M: So what does Law McGraw do?

Jodyann: He’s finishing his last year of law school. He has a job lined up at a law firm in San Francisco, so we’re going to be moving out there the month before Haas starts.

M: Oh wow! He’s a lawyer! Well, you really did well for yourself! You snagged a lawyer!

And that angered me so much! Out of everything else that I’ve worked so hard for, I would hardly consider having a lawyer boyfriend as my most significant accomplishment. It’s not as if I went on a hunt specifically for a lawyer. Even if Law McGraw was a starving artist, I would still love him and consider myself to be the luckiest girl in the world.

This isn’t the first time that something like this has happened to me. Any time I run into someone from my past, they’re always impressed about Law McGraw being a lawyer. What about everything that I’ve done in my life? What about all the years that I spent learning organic chemistry and fluid dynamics to be an engineer? What about my promotions and raises? What about my GMAT score? What about my acceptances to business schools? What about the fact that I’m truly happy right now? Aren’t all of these things a better indicator of how well I’ve done for myself?

Why must people assess me based on Law McGraw’s chosen career path?

What Scares Me

2006-06-01T13:08:00.000-05:00

It's my second to last day of work here, and although I'm extremely nervous about what lies ahead of me, I have to admit that I'm happy. It's scary to think that this will be my last day of work until May or June of 2007. It's scary to think that for the first time, I will no longer be receiving any paychecks and will be going into debt. It's scary to think that that I'm moving 2000 miles across the country. It's scary to think that I'm leaving behind all of my friends and family in Chicago to meet a whole new group of friends and to become part of a new family. It's scary to think that I need to learn how to study again. But the scariest thing of all may be that I need to share a bathroom with a boy.

Because I Heart Lists

2006-05-31T14:58:00.000-05:00

100 THINGS ABOUT ME

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Copy this whole list into your journal.

2. Bold the things that are true about you.

3. Whatever you don't bold is false.

01. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions

02. I don't watch much TV these days

03. I love broccoli

04. I love sleeping

05. I have loads of books

06. I once slept in a toilet

07. I love playing video games

08. I adore marijuana

09. I watch porn movies

10. I watch 'One Tree Hill'

11. I like sharks

12. I love spiders, I think they're adorable, especially the ones with bright colors on their backs

13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair

14. I like George W. Bush

15. People are cool

16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year

17. I have a Toyota and a pool

18. I have a lot to learn

19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself

20. I'm really, really smart

22. I have a secret

23. I hate rain

24. I drink health juice

25. Punk rock rules

26. I hate Bill Gates

27. I love Vietnamese food

28. I would hate to be famous

29. I am not a morning person

30. I have semi-long hair

31. I have short hair

32. I have potential

33. I'm pure Afghan

34. My legs are two different sizes (I refuse to believe my legs are identical...)

35. I have a twin

36. I wear those long ass socks

37. I can roll my tongue

38. I like the way that I look

39. I'm obsessed with Italian food

40. I know how to French braid

41. I can be pessimistic or optimistic whenever I want

42. I have a lot of mood swings

43. I skateboard/snowboard

44. I think that skateboarders are HOT

45. I'm in a band

46. I have talent

47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have

48. I think that I'm popular

49. I am currently single

50. I can't swim

51. My favorite color is either blue, red, or white

52. I practically live in sweatshirts

53. I love to shop

54. I would classify myself as either punk or goth

55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I'm a prep, shop at abercrombie, and ADMIT IT

57. I'm obsessed with my xanga

58. I don't hate anyone

59. I know how to square dance

60. I have a unibrow

61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mom

62. I have a cell phone

63. I believe in God

64. I watch MTV on a daily basis

65. I know how to play the tuba

66. I need coffee to live

67. I have had a boyfriend before

68. I've rejected someone before

69. I currently like someone and they have no idea that I like them

70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life

71. I want to have kids when I get older

72. I have changed a diaper before

73. I've called the cops on a friend before

74. I bite my nails
75. I am a member of the Hilary Duff fan club

76. I'm not allergic to anything

77. I love broadway plays, and have been to at least 3

78. I have no idea who the 38th president was

79. I plan on seeing Mary Kate and Ashley's new movie

80. I am completely shy around the opposite sex

81. I'm online 24/7

82. I have at least 25 away messages saved

83. I have tried alcohol or drugs at a party

84. I loved Rush Hour

85. I've read all of the Harry Potter trilogy

86. If I were a dwarf, I would be dopey

87. When I was a kid I played with G.I. Joe

88. I dont mind country music

89. I would die for my friends (depends how and why though)

90. I think that Juicy Fruit is the best type of gum

91. I watch soap operas whenever I can

92. I'm obsessive and paranoid and extremely jumpy

93. I would love to be demi moore because ashton kutchers a major hottie

94. I love the Beatles.. they're classic

95. I know all the words to 'I'm a barbie girl'

96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy..

97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.

98. I have to fart

99. I want this damned thing to be over!

100. I'm happy.

To Whet Your Appetite

2006-05-30T19:57:00.000-05:00

Pictures from the Speirs-Yeramyan wedding are coming soon. But here's a sample of what's to come. (Although I'm still waiting for an email from a certain someone in this picture, I've taken his advice to update my blog more often.)

The Right Choice

2006-05-22T22:34:00.000-05:00

How do you ever know if you've made the right choice? The right school? The right person to spend the rest of your life with? The right career decision? The right place to eat lunch at?

Maybe it's because I've had a lot of down time in airports and on long flights, but I've been thinking about some decisions that I've made recently. How do I know that they're right? Did I choose the right school? Do I really want this degree? Should I really quit this job that I seem to be fairly good at? Should I really move halfway across the country?

People are telling me it's just because I have cold feet and I'm nervous, but I don't know. In less than 3 months, my entire life as I know it will change. Everyone keeps asking me whether or not I'm excited about it, and I don't know. It's not that I'm not excited, but I haven't exactly been jumping for joy. Maybe I just haven't quite gotten used to the idea of it, but another part of me wonders if I'm making the right decision.

How do I know that this is right?

Prom 2006

2006-05-15T22:24:00.000-05:00

To prepare myself for a black tie wedding this weekend in Philly, I ventured out to buy myself a new formal dress a couple of weekends ago. Big mistake. I learned that trying to buy a formal gown in the months of April and May means being bombarded with pastel poofy gowns and fighting with 17 year old girls and their mothers for dressing rooms. It doesn't help when you look 16 and all the salesladies are assuring you that you'll look fabulous for the prom. Too bad that I'm a decade too old for the prom. Fortunately, I walked away with a nice black satin gown that didn't look too prom-y. And this weekend, the Speirs-Yeramyan wedding will be my own personal prom.

Ranked #687

2006-05-07T16:39:00.000-05:00

Glenbrook North was listed as the #687 high school in the U.S. by Newsweek magazine. I wonder if we would have been ranked higher had there been a category for "school with the most international fame due to hazing."

April Showers Bring Mayflowers, and Mayflowers Bring...

2006-04-30T22:31:00.000-05:00

...Engagements

I'm starting to get cold sweats just thinking about white pouffy dresses and table settings. Is it my imagination or is everyone and their mother getting engaged? I'm already slated for 4 weddings in 2007 and it's only May. Is there something about the onslaught of warm weather that is causing everyone to propose to their girlfriends? I guess that it's kind of like that first warm day after winter on a college campus. That day when all the girls bust out their flip flops and tube tops, and all the frat guys start wearing the muscle tanks. Maybe seventy degree days bring out diamond solitaire rings from their hiding places in jewelry stores.

**(Note: I am NOT one of the aforementioned engaged girls.)

Working 9 to 5

2006-02-27T11:29:00.000-06:00

I'm going to start working again. A fabulous opportunity came out of nowhere, and I've been offered an internship at a company called Ocean Tomo. I'll be working in the Corporate Finance Group on mergers and acquisitions of intellectual property. What that exactly means is still a mystery to me. I guess that I'll find out on Wednesday. From my interview, it seems like I'll be reading up on patents and stuff like that in hopes of figuring out who the buyers should be. It seems pretty cool since I'll know about the new technology before it hits the shelves.

My only issue is that I haven't woken up at 7am since I worked at Aksys. Fortunately, this time around, my commuting is on a train, rather than me battling the other road warriors on the Edens/Kennedy.

Love. Dangerously.

2006-02-14T11:55:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Law McGraw and I are off to celebrate our second Valentine's Day together tonight. I'm usually not a fan of the holiday (due to it's Hallmark cheeziness), but I am looking forward to dinner at Francesca's Forno tonight. We've passed this restaurant about 5 times in Bucktown, but each time, we've been denied a table due to its overwhelming crowds. Due to Law's powers of persuasion, we managed to snag a table there for tonight. I'll provide a full report of it later.

But until then, I'll leave you with a simple message: Love as if you've never been hurt.

** Photo courtesy of moddots.com

More About Me...

2006-02-12T22:08:00.000-06:00

Because I love filling out lists and forms, here's another helping of me:

Four Jobs you have had in your Life:
1. Camp Counselor
2. Research Assistant for a CPS Teaching Initiative
3. Orthopedic Implant Design Engineer
4. Dialysis Machine Design Engineer

Four movies you could watch over and over:
1. Never Been Kissed
2. Love Actually
3. Amelie
4. Best in Show

Four places you have lived:
1. Northbrook, IL
2. Evanston, IL
3. Warsaw, IN
4. Chicago, IL

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Lost
2. Gilmore Girls
3. Friends
4. Project Runway

Four Places you have been on vacation:
1. Hong Kong
2. San Francisco, CA
3. Boston, MA
4. Vancouver, BC

Four websites you visit daily:
1. CNN
2. Gmail
3. Business Week
4. Google

Four of your favorite foods:
1. Salt and Pepper Pork Chops
2. Chinese Style Green Beans
3. Lychee Gelato
4. Mango anything

Anything is Possible

2006-02-07T22:09:00.001-06:00

It's weird how one's taste can change so quickly. And I mean in all realms of life -- movies, music, books, people, careers, food, etc. As I've been reflecting on the past year of my life, I've realized how much I've changed. A year ago, I was living in Roscoe Village/West Lakeview with Lillian and still working as an engineer. The idea of going back to school was merely just that, an idea. I had just met Law McGraw after a slew of horrible dates with other guys. Flash forward to today and life is completely different. I moved back to the suburbs and temporarily back in with my parents. I'm no longer employed and the idea of grad school is becoming more of a reality every single day. Before I know it, some school with have a $1000 deposit from me and I will have sold my soul to higher education. There have been no horrible dates over the past year. In fact, every date with Law McGraw has only gotten better.

But the biggest change in my life over the past year is my taste for phenylalanine, aka NutraSweet. I used to hate anything that was labeled as "Diet." The aftertaste of the artifical sugar was just unbearable. But nowadays, I find normal sodas just too sweet. In fact, I'll choose Diet Coke over Coke anyday. I've also developed a liking for Fresca, which is solely in diet form. I never thought that it would be possible for me to like artificial sugar, but I guess what they say is true: anything is possible. What's next -- me liking cooked carrots? Or tomato wedges?

Nerves of Steel

2006-02-06T23:23:00.000-06:00

I have an interview at the University of Chicago for the MBA program on Wednesday morning and for some reason, I'm extremely nervous. Part of it could be the fact that I've done very little preparation for it. I kept meaning to do my prep work today, but instead I decided that I needed to buy storage bags for all of my dresses, so they wouldn't get dusty in my closet. (Note to all: Target is selling some very nice dress storage bags for $0.50 each. Seriously the best deal ever.)

And so to ease my nerves, I decided that I wanted to buy this:

Isn't he the cutest thing ever? Although, I don't really understand what his purpose is. He's described as a pin, but I can't imagine that you could wear it like a brooch. So I don't really know what to do with him. But looking at him is enough for now.

Dorkaholics Anonymous

2006-02-02T01:16:00.000-06:00

Tonight, as I was filling out my tax returns, I found myself truly enjoying it. Whether it was figuring out how much I could contribute to my IRA or calculating whether or not I qualified for certain deductions, I felt the adrenaline coursing through my body. I was honestly and seriously giddy. Part of the giddiness might be due to the fact that I'm getting a bigger tax return than I got last year. But the other part is probably due to the fact that I'm a dorkosaurus. There you have it. Hi, my name is Jody and I'm addicted to dorky things, like doing my taxes. Even better, I like to balance my checkbook.

More Food!!!

2006-02-01T02:38:00.000-06:00

While surfing one of my favorite handmade goods websites, I can across these cupcakes. I want these in addition to the sushi pillows. I'm thinking that I want the theme of my next apartment to be food. I'm hoping that Law McGraw doesn't mind this, but really, who could resist sushi pillows and cupcake sashets? I even bought some Kellogg's postcards with all the vintage mascots that I'm intending to frame for display in the living room. Who says that you can't hug your favorite food to sleep?

The Tables Were Turned

2006-01-30T00:49:00.000-06:00

This past weekend, I conducted alumni interviews for high school applicants to Northwestern. It was interesting to have the tables turned for the first time in several months. I signed up to volunteer with alumni interviews, because I'll admit that I loved my 4 years at Northwestern. Plus, I really think that I wouldn't be where I am now without it. So I wanted to give back to the school and to help recruit people that I would be proud to call fellow alums.

During my interviews, I tried to maintain a very relaxed environment. I spent a couple of minutes introducing myself and explaining my major and my career path since. Then I spent about 20 minutes asking them questions and the last 10 minutes for them to ask me questions. In terms of the questions that I asked, I tried to keep them fairly simple. I was more interested in seeing how comfortable they were in talking about their activities, interests, and passions. I mainly asked about why they were applying to certain majors, what subjects they enjoyed in school, what kinds of activities they participated in, and why they wanted to attend Northwestern. The only semi-challenging question I asked was how their friends would describe them in three words.

Sadly, the most challenging question for all of them was why they wanted to attend Northwestern. I would have thought that all of them would have given me responses pertaining to the top-ranked academics or specific extracurricular activities. Sadly, most of them knew nothing about the majors they were applying to. In addition, a majority of them said that they were applying to NU because their parents were alums.

Out of the 9 interviews that I conducted, there were only 4 people that I would have admitted and been proud to call them fellow alums. The other 5 were just mediocre. In fact, there was one kid that I wanted to deny right there on the spot. He told me that he enjoyed doing "stuff" and said that he didn't think he was going to get in. Plus, he had no questions for me at all about student life or any of the academic programs. Another kid tried to convince me that chess was a team sport. And then there was another kid who told me that he did poorly on standardized tests, because the answers were tricky.

I found it disappointing that none of them bothered to even lie to me about why they wanted to come to Northwestern. As long as they sounded confident in their answer, then that would have been convincing enough for me. But being the person that I am, I didn't recommend denials to any of them. I merely just recommended that the interview was not very strong but that they should still be admitted if the rest of their application was strong. I guess that I didn't know the slightest thing about interviewing or what I really wanted to do with my life when I was 17 years old. Then again, I still don't really know what I'm doing with my life.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

2006-01-29T20:37:00.000-06:00

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! I wish for good luck and prosperity for all those around me. I've recently received a lot of good news and good luck, so I hope that it will continue. I know that I'll need it as I continue on this crazy journey of life! Enjoy the year of the dog!!!

To Ease the Agony

2006-01-26T11:50:00.000-06:00

The next four days are going to be the most agonizing of my life. Berkeley releases its decisions on Monday, and I'm so nervous. Part of me thinks that I shouldn't worry since I don't really expect to get in anyway. But the optimistic part of me wants to hold on to hope. And sadly, because of that, I am in pure agony awaiting the decision. Getting in to Berkeley doesn't just mean that I'll be getting a top-notch business education, it also means that I won't have to be separated from Law McGraw for two years, which is fairly important to me. I know that everything will work out even if I don't get into Berkeley, but it would be so great if I did get in. But seeing as how most of my life seems to happen on a different path than I imagine, I don't particularly envision myself getting in. So maybe all this worrying is just going to be wasted.

But in the meantime, I've decided to allay the fears by figuring out how to make this penguin. Of course, I have no skills in crocheting, but I do have lots of time to figure it out.

In other news, I've also finished another book:

3. The Final Solution by Michael Chabon

I really liked The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, but I didn't fall in love with Chabon's most recent book. There was something about the writing style that was different. There were way too many descriptors in each sentence that made it a bit difficult to understand. However, I think that it's still worth the read since it's only 130 pages.

Martha Stewart Maybe?

2006-01-25T18:35:00.000-06:00

I spent the majority of today at Michael's buying craft supplies to make greeting cards. An hour and $20 later, I had purchased all the needed items and was ready to make cards. Fortunately, I successfully created a congratulations card for one of my friends. I can't find my digital camera to post a picture of it, but once I do, all of you can see my first creation. I've decided that I'll be making greeting cards for everyone from now on. No more visits to Hallmark.

In other news, I've also watched 10 episodes of Lost in a row. Now I know what crack addicts must feel like. I can't seem to stop watching and now that I need to wait for Netflix to send the next DVDs, I'm in withdrawal. I've tried to get my fix with episodes of Friends, but it's just not the same. Thank goodness that Netflix is fast with their deliveries. Let's hope that there are minimal cold sweats tonight.

Sushi Anyone?

2006-01-19T19:24:00.000-06:00

I should be preparing for my interview this weekend, but instead I decided to surf the internet. And although I have no income (well, outside of my unemployment checks), I've decided that I want these pillows on the left. Wouldn't it be nice to come home after a long day of class and curl up on the couch with a California Roll? Or maybe lay your head on to a piece of salmon or tuna before you fall asleep? Hmm...maybe all pillows should be made in the shape of food. I'd like to clutch a nice big steak as I drift off to sleep.

What's Happened to Her?

2006-01-18T12:15:00.000-06:00

I've recently chanced upon some websites that have turned me into June Cleaver. I've decided that I'm going to learn how to knit and crochet. Step by step, I'm turning into my mother. Of course, part of my reasoning behind learning how to knit and crochet comes from the business-y part of me. I've decided that I want to learn how to crochet animals so I can sell them. If I'm such a sucker for cute little beady-eyed creatures, I'm sure that somewhere else in this virtual space, someone else loves them almost as much as I do.

On this site that I found, the girl has been making sushi-shaped beads out of clay and making them into bracelets that cost $30 each. Not that I would ever spend that much money on a bracelet like that, but they are super cute. So I've decided that I would also like to join this world of arts and crafts. If you don't hear from me in a while, it's probably because I've gouged an eye out with a knitting needle.

In other news, I've finished another book for my reading list. I've had "Memoirs of Geisha" on my bookshelf for several years now, and the release of the movie motivated me to pick it up. I really loved the book! Some of the passages where Sayuri was doing her self-reflection was very touching and applicable for my life. I'm slightly motivated to see the movie...when it comes out on DVD. But for now, I'll just add her to my reading list:

1. Freakonomics
2. Memoirs of a Geisha

I Heart the Wolverines

2006-01-12T15:59:00.000-06:00

Life honestly couldn't be better right now. I just got a phone call from the Director of Admissions from the Ross School of Business at University of Michigan. Not only have I been accepted, but I've been offered a full scholarship!!!!! Imagine that, a full scholarship from the #6 business school according to Business Week.

I'm really in shock right now. I think that I need to lay down.

The Little Pack Rat

2006-01-11T23:13:00.000-06:00

As I'm sitting in my room drowned in an abyss of clothes, I realize how much of a pack rat I really am. It's been almost 7 years since I've lived with my parents and now that I'm done with applications, I decided that it's probably time that I unpack my boxes. (Although, I think that these boxes will all need to be repacked within 7 months.) Regardless, unpacking boxes doesn't mean just the boxes that I've brought back from my most recent apartment, unpacking boxes includes all of the boxes that I lugged home from college because my first apartment didn't have enough room or the boxes that I continued to lug from 2006 Maple Ave in Evanston throughout Chicago over the past 4 years.

While unpacking these boxes, I've come across a wealth of memories -- pictures, pennants, little plastic trinkets, pens from job fairs -- you name it, I seem to have it. I know that I need to get rid of some of these things, because there's just not enough room for them. In addition to the fact that I just don't need these things anymore. But it's really hard for me to part from then. Take the plastic rhinoceros I got from inside a KinderEgg that Nancy-o brought back from Germany for me during our sophomore year in Kemper. It's been almost 6 years since I got that little plastic rhinoceros. It has no true purpose in my life, but I can't bring myself to throw it away. So for now, it's found a home on my bookshelf next to The Confederacy of Dunces. (By the way, for those of you who have not discovered the KinderEgg, I suggest that you find yourself to Europe so that you can sample one. There's nothing spectacular about the chocolate itself, but a chocolate egg filled with a prize is enough to make this girl happy.)

Besides trinkets, I have about a million T-shirts that are 10 sizes too large for me. Most of them were acquired somewhere on the Northwestern campus, but others are from Aksys. Why oh why do people insist on passing out XL t-shirts to everyone and their mothers? Don't people realize that XL is not synonymous with one size fits all? So if anyone is in need of some new t-shirts, please don't hesitate to let me know. I've got all kinds and all colors.

But seriously, does anyone else have this problem of being a pack rat and not being able to part with things? I have a wine glass from a Delta Chi date party that I went to with an ex-boyfriend; should I keep it or should I toss it? I'm pretty sure that I'll never drink from it, and I'm no longer friends with said person. But the glass is kind of pretty? Oh what to do, what to do?

On the Road to Being More Literate

2006-01-09T00:11:00.000-06:00

With the new year, I've set a new goal for myself. I've decided that I'm going to use my free time to read more and to stop rotting my brain with things like MTV, TBS, HBO, and all those other three-lettered channels. I'm going to use my blog as a log for the books that I've read throughout the year. So here's my first entry...

1. Freakonomics by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner

So Close...

2005-12-30T16:42:00.000-06:00

...yet still so far away.

I'm almost done with all of my business school applications. As of 5 minutes ago, I had submitted applications for Stanford and University of Chicago. I'm not sure why I really applied to either one of those schools. I feel like I have a 1 in a million chance of getting into either of those schools, but oh well, the fees have been paid and applications are on the way through the virtual network. My credit card and bank account are hurting a bit, but I guess that thos unemployment checks should slowly be surfacing soon. Plus, I still have my severance check coming.

Now I just have one more essay left for my Kellogg application. Then it's all over. Well, kinda. Now I have to fill out FAFSA forms and convince the government to give me lots of aid, since I'm unemployed.

But all in all, this process has definitely helped me grow a lot. I've done a lot of self-reflection and really pushed myself to expose my desires, interests, and hopes. Thankfully, UCLA wants all of that as part of their next MBA class.

Let's hope that more is in store for 2006! Happy New Year's Eve Eve everyone!

It's Not All About Me

2005-12-29T01:41:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, I can be such a bonehead. Tonight, I was super selfish and actually got mad at someone for not helping me review my application essays. It wasn't that he didn't want to help me, but rather, he's been really busy with family things for the holidays. Yet, I seemed to have somehow forgotten about everyone else in the world and focused solely on myself. I got mad at him and mad him feel really guilty about it. But in reality, he's already helped me so much throughout this entire process -- from reviewing essays to just being there to assure me that everything will work out. I can't even begin to express how thankful I am for all of his help. Lord knows that I would have no acceptances at this point without him, because I would have broken down long ago and been unable to complete any of my applications.

So I want to tell him that I'm really sorry. Really, really sorry. I hope that he can forgive me, and I hope that I can learn to be more appreciative of what I have.

The Queen of Procrastination

2005-12-23T17:47:00.000-06:00

I'm supposed to be cranking out the remainder of my applications, but instead, I've decided to do the following things:

1. Go Xmas shopping at the mall (where I wanted to buy hundreds of sweaters for myself, but then realized that this might be the last winter that I'll need them)

2. Take an hour nap on the couch

3. Read the entire November issue of Food & Wine magazine (I know, I know. It's December, but I apparently like to live a month behind the real world.)

4. Check my email 6000 times without really getting any.

5. Read the message board for the old company's stock (No surprise. Still pretty much tanking.)

And now, I'm finally getting back to the essays. But I did decide to break into the case of Nantucket NectarFizz that Law McGraw bought for me. Seriously, for those of you who have not tried it, I honestly think it's better than ambrosia, nectar of the gods. A certain someone might challenge that and say that Snapple is the nectar of the gods, but I just think she's wrong. :)

Early Christmas Present

2005-12-22T12:46:00.000-06:00

UCLA surprised me with an excellent gift today. I've been accepted to the Class of 2008!!!!

It's not exactly my first choice, but I'm still pretty darned excited! They have a wonderful program there and are ranked 11th in the nation, so I know that I'll be getting a pretty great education. Plus, it'll be that much easier for me to find a job in San Francisco after graduation. I was also nominated for a fellowship, so hopefully, that will help defray some of the costs. But I think one of the greatest parts is the fact that I'll at least be in the same state as Law McGraw next year and will be flip-flopping it across campus in December. So even if I don't get into any other school, I'm very happy with what I have!

It's going to be a fabulous Christmas!!! Happy Holidays, everyone!

"You Did Well"

2005-12-22T00:05:00.000-06:00

But did I really?

I had my Kellogg interview tonight with an alum. I thought that it was going to be fairly easy since everyone told me that alum interviews are way easier than admissions officers interviews. Besides, the guy interviewing me had been friends with my brother in high school. Slam dunk.

Uhhh...not so much. There were a ton of tough questions, and everytime I would start in on a story, he kept saying, "Ok, I don't need to know those details." It seemed like he consistently cut me off and kept expecting me to wow him, but my stories just didn't. Well, at least not all of my stories. He seemed impressed with a couple of things, but not really all of it.

He did end the interview with "You did well", but I don't know how to interpret that. Was he just trying to humor me? Or did I really do well? Because I for sure didn't feel like I did well. Law McGraw thinks that there's no reason that the guy needed to humor me so I must have done well. But I'm not so sure. Maybe he just felt bad for me. Regardless, I guess it's over now. Now it's back to finishing all my essays.

I'm starting to wonder if after all this effort, this is really what I want. Law McGraw thinks I'm being too hard on myself, but I'm starting to wonder what my plan B is going to be if I don't get into any schools.

Blessings in Disguise

2005-12-20T23:51:00.000-06:00

With all the chaos that my life has encountered in the past several months, I had the chance to take a break and relax in California for the past week. My main goal of the trip was to interview at UCLA, but when I was laid off, I extended my stay. (I guess that's one of the benefits of not having any responsibilities.) Anyway, the week in sunny California definitely put a lot of things in perspective.

First, the whole being-kicked-out-of-my-apartment by my roommate was actually a blessing in disguise. If that hadn't happened, I'd still be paying all that rent for a crappy apartment with no insulation. That definitely would have put a dent in my savings. In addition, I would still have to live with someone that I don't like. Fortunately, things happened the way that they did and this lay off won't be as hard for me as it could have been.

Second, I realized that I needed this break in my life. For the past 3.5 years, I've been working non-stop. Sure, I've had the occasional long weekend and whatnot, but no real vacation. And I'm tired. After putting in those long hours and 24/7 support to the service guys, I needed a break. Not just from the long hours, but a break from engineering. I'm not cut out to be an engineer and I just don't have the passion for it. This break has allowed me to really reflect on what I want to do with the rest of my career. For a while, I was focused on promotions and raises without really enjoying what I was doing, but I've realized that that's not what I want anymore. I want to really enjoy what I'm doing. Even if it doesn't come with a 6-figure salary. I still want my MBA, but if for some reason that doesn't work out, I really want to get into graphic design and advertising. For a long time, I thought that I could use engineering as a creative outlet, but I was wrong. The creativity involved in engineering is not quite the same as creating a cute little monkey to sell cereal.

Third, my trip to California has made me realize that Chicagoans must be masochists. While it was about 6 degrees here at home, Los Angeles averaged close to the 70s everyday. In fact all of the Bruins were flip-flopping it across campus in T-shirts and jeans. Hopefully, this will be my last winter of snow and frostbite.

Last, despite all the chaotic events of my life as of late, I'm happy. I've been shown all the true joys of life through my family, my friends, and Law McGraw. Law McGraw's parents (the McGraws, if you will) were uber-nice to me all week and very supportive of my endeavors. I'm so thankful to have them in this web of support that surrounds me.

There are so many things I'm looking forward to that I don't have time to look back at the unfortunate events that have happened. And even when I do have time to reflect on them, I realize that so many people have it way worse that I do. I'm looking forward to all the other blessings that are in store for me in 2006!

Unemployment - Day 1

2005-12-07T23:32:00.000-06:00

So for the first time in about 3.5 years, I woke up this morning not really knowing what to do. First of all, my body seems to be programmed to wake up at 7am. But for the first time in a long time, I was able to actually just roll back over and sleep some more. That's usually what I do on the weekends, but I've never experienced that on a weekday that wasn't a holiday.

But all in all, I seemed to have survived Day 1 of unemployment. It was actually a fairly filled day. I went an opened an IRA account to roll over my 401K. My dad, which I must add, is actually very excited about the idea of me not going to work. He's decided that this is the time for him to give me a tutorial into the world of day-trading. According to him, all people that want MBAs must love stocks. I just think that it's the Asian blood of gambling coursing through his veins. Regardless, I've learned where to find my mutual funds in the newspaper and what all the little symbols and abbreviations stand for. Albeit, I need a magnifying glass to read it. So I've become slightly versed in stock trading and may actually use that to supplement my severance package and unemployment checks.

As for signing up for unemployment benefits today, that was an adventure in itself. First off, I'm happy that I did it. Since I'm probably never ever going to see Social Security payments, this may be the only way that I'll ever get back some of the money that I've been paying to the government. Of course, the $336/week checks are really nothing to hoot and holler about. I did learn today that some company is royally screwing up and has misentered some guys Social Security number into the system. Somehow, all of his earning are also being entered under my number. This caused me to have to wait for over 45 minutes in the Social Security office to get a printout verifying that XXX-XX-XXXX actually belongs to me. Apparently, the little blue Social Security card does not fulfill that purpose. Everything ended up being resolved in the end, so there's a happy ending.

Plus, I have a potential lead for a new job, so that seems promising. Otherwise, there are a lot of jobs that I'm highly interested in on monster.com. Now comes the hard part of learning how to write cover letters again. Of course, this will take a backseat to my essays, which are slowly coming along.

I wonder what I'll do tomorrow...

...And It's All Over

2005-12-06T19:25:00.000-06:00

I don't really know why I'm publicizing this information, but I will anyway. I was laid off this morning from my job, in addition to about 40% of the company. In the back of my mind, I knew that this was coming. We've been enduring financial difficulties for the past year, and it's just become a dire situation. Our stock is about $0.70 and there doesn't seem to be any funds coming in from anywhere. What I don't understand is why every single Sr. Vice President and Manager was retained. Who's going to do all the work? I guess that I don't really care anymore. For now, I need to focus on finishing up the rest of my applications and have faith that I'll get accepted somewhere. As for my old employer, I really hope that you crash and burn. That's what you deserve for laying off over 100 people in less than 4 years. And for my old CEO, I applaud you for your cowardness. Not only are you a coward but you've also managed to fool the entire board of directors into believing that you're actually doing some kind of work. Kudos to you for the lack of accomplishments you've had in the past 4 years.

Why Does the Eagle Hate Me?

2005-12-04T18:08:00.000-06:00

Seriously, that soaring eagle mascot of the US Postal Service hates me. Or maybe it's just the postal service in general. In the past three months that I've been applying to business school, I've had numerous pieces of mail lost. First, it was 4 transcripts. Now, how a big envelope containing 4 transcripts gets lost between Evanston and Northbrook is a mystery to me. The two towns practically touch each other. Then, my GMAT scores got lost from New Jersey to Los Angeles. This is a bit more feasible seeing as they are on opposite coasts, but seriously, how can mail just get lost? It's been over 3 months and UCLA has yet to receive my scores. I'll bet that somewhere in Idaho, someone is reveling in the fact that Jody scored in the 99th percentile on the GMAT. Now, if that Idahoan happens to be reading this, please reseal that envelope and forward it to UCLA. My future may depend on it.

What boggles my mind even more is the fact that you have to take a test to be a postal worker. My dad's friend's son decided to become a postal worker (why I'm not exactly sure), and told my dad about this very lengthy test that he had to take. He was shown 20 addresses and had a couple of minutes to memorize them. From that, he had to write down every single address again. That's insane!!! Now, if our postal workers can pass tests like that, can't they manage to deliver my mail?

Panicked...

2005-11-29T09:33:00.000-06:00

I had a panic attack this morning as I was thinking about the applications that I've already submitted. Were they good enough? Did I include enough details? Is everything clear? Did I write about the right topics? I even went so far as to reread my essays. That was a bad idea -- it just made me more worried. I don't think that I've ever been under so much stress, and I still have 3 more applications to work on. I know, I know...this is when I'm supposed to walk by faith. But it's just so hard. If you see me sweating or profusely crying, it's because I'm having a meltdown. Just offer a hug and I should be fine.

Happy Tofurkey Day!!!

2005-11-24T19:31:00.000-06:00

Just kidding. I'm such a carnivore that there's no way I could ever eat tofurkey.

Despite the levels of stress that I've been experiencing as of late due to applications and the weary state of my company, I realize that I have so much to be thankful for this year. So in no particular order, here they are:

1. My parents and my brother -- without whom, I would really be homeless right now, but mainly for all of their support and love for the past 25 years

2. Law McGraw -- for being so loving and caring even when I snap at him due to my levels of stress and for showing me what love really is

3. My friends -- for constantly checking up on me and offering words of encouragement even when I seem to have fallen off of the face of the earth for the past 6 months

4. My job -- despite the shaky situation that we're in right now, I'm thankful for all the things that I've learned there and the daily challenges that have made me stronger over the past 3.5 years

5. My overall health and happiness -- despite what I believe to be "huge" crises in my daily life, I realize that I have it so much better than a lot of people in the world

Have a Happy Thanksgiving all! (I shall now eat a dinner filled with turkey and slip into a food-induced coma.)

Michael...Swoon!!!

2005-11-24T18:14:00.000-06:00

In the midst of panicking and freaking out about b-school essays, I decided to take a break and watch Friends. And lo and behold...it was the Thanksgiving episode with Michael Vartan!!!! I had somehow forgotten how cute he was and swooned the entire time that he was on the screen. I'll admit that his acting skills aren't so hot, but the cute little smile and the left-handedness are enough to make me giggle like a school girl. What ever am I going to do now that he's not on Alias? Darn those people for killing him off.

Where's Home?

2005-11-20T19:35:00.000-06:00

After a weekend of cleaning, packing, and attempting to squeeze a couch out of a narrow doorway, I'm moved out of my apartment. With my recent hectic schedule, I haven't had a chance to really tell anyone that I'm moving, so here's my public announcement. My roommate and her boyfriend attempted to politely ask me to move out of the apartment since they had moved their wedding date up to May and wanted the whole place to themselves. When I say politely, I'm being overly generous. It was probably one of the rudest experiences I had ever encountered. Honestly, I was truly pissed about the whole thing and the past two weeks in our apartment were quite interesting. Since my name wasn't on the lease and I was starting to hate the apartment on the whole, I decided to just move out as soon as I could. If they hadn't been so rude in essentially kicking me out of my home, I probably would have attempted to work something out, but at this point, I just wanted to never see either one of them again.

So now I've moved all of my belongings to my parents' house and my brother's house. They have generously agreed to house me in both homes until I move for school next year. I'll also be staying with Law McGraw from time to time, since my heart is still quite fond of the city, despite my recent towing incident.

But it's kind of weird to not really have my own place anymore. I haven't lived in the suburbs in almost 4 years. This will be interesting, but I'm looking forward to the short commutes to work and to the money that I'll save for not having to pay rent anymore. Maybe my road rage won't be so bad anymore and maybe I won't have to take out ginormous loans for school next year. All in all, not having to live with people you don't like is priceless.

I Hate Chicago

2005-11-17T11:19:00.000-06:00

Even though I've lived here for 25 years, I'll admit that I'm starting to get sick of this place. Just 4 days ago, I was sitting in a park in San Francisco with a t-shirt and jeans on and I was actually warm. And now, I'm in a turtleneck sweater with a long wool coat and it's snowing outside. I used to think that I would miss the snow if I moved away and that the Chicago weather made the Midwesterners tougher. Obviously, I was on crack. I'm looking forward to the days of warm weather and the lack of owning enough sweaters for an army.

Aside from the cold weather, I hate Mayor Daley. Because of him and his retarded city, my car was towed this morning. I was parked in a rush hour zone which stated that towing would start at 7am. I literally got out to my car at 7:02am and the dude had just started putting my car onto the tow truck. I pleaded, I begged, I even offered cash on the spot. No luck. $210 later and an hour late for work, I finally had my car back. Well, to Mayor Daley and all your minions that run this city, I hope that karma catches up with you. Even better, I hope you enjoy the flames of the afterlife.

Out of My Hands

2005-11-02T22:53:00.000-06:00

Just a few minutes ago, I hit the Submit button for my UCLA Anderson application. That means that I'm done with all of my Round 1 applications. Ross, Haas, and Anderson are under my belt. I would have thought that a significant weight would have been lifted off of my shoulders, but instead, the complete opposite is true. I've started to have even more panic attacks every couple of seconds, wondering if my essays were good enough or if I picked the right topics to write about.

But I guess that this is the moment when I'm supposed to walk by faith. I need to believe that things will work out and that which ever school I get into will be the one that's right for me. There's nothing more that I can do anymore. I've hit submit and the schools have received everything that they need from me. All I can do is pray and cross my fingers that I'll get an acceptance.

Please let my faith grow.

Down But Not Out

2005-11-01T09:12:00.000-06:00

This weekend was a disappointing loss for the Wildcats. Between holding calls, interceptions, and a huge fumble, the Wolverines essentially stopped the Wildcats for the entire 2nd half of the game. I never thought that college football could affect me so much, but I was honestly sad and bummed for the rest of Saturday night.

But I will not despair. The Wildcats have three more games left. If they can win at least two of them, then there will be some bowl action. The Wildcats are probably not going to beat OSU in Ohio, but I think that they have really good chances with both Iowa and Illinois. I will not lose faith in them. (Despite all the administrative difficulties I've had with them over the years. Seriously, why would anyone think that my name is Jody Thom?)

So if anyone's looking for me on Saturday, I'll probably be perched somewhere with my eyeballs glued to the tv. In addition, I will be celebrating the submission of my first-round applications! Woo Hoo!!! Of course, until then, I need to craft a good essay on why I want to be in LA next year.

To all my Wildcats out there: Keep the faith. I will see all of you at a Bowl Game!!!

I'm in love...

2005-10-27T23:21:00.000-05:00

...with the Haas School of Business.

I just came home from an informational session about the Berkeley Haas School of Business, and I'm honestly in love. Hearing current students and the alums talk about their experiences there made me realize just how much I want to be there next year. I had the opportunity to speak with a current MBA/MPH student and he honestly made me want to cry thinking about how happy I would be if I was accepted. The program is exactly what I want out of an MBA and it's situated in the greatest area in the world for healthcare. Seriously, this Victor guy that I was talking to has essentially the same career path as me. Engineer by trade, but aspiring healthcare consultant by desire. He's landed a job as a healthcare strategy consultant at BCG and he knows that it's because he has an MBA/MPH. I'm him, but just several years younger and so much prettier.

I feel like I've never wanted anything more than this. Not even when I wanted that undergrad acceptance to Stanford. Here's hoping that a higher, divine being also has plans for me at Haas next year.

Go 'Cats!

2005-10-27T15:02:00.000-05:00

This weekend marks the 6th Northwestern Homecoming football game that I've attended. And for the first time in 4 years, NU is ranked again. Woo Hoo!!!! Not only will I be cheering on the Wildcats to victory against the Wolverines, I will be doing it in the company of Nancy and Caleb. More yippeees! (Law McGraw will be there too, but I rarely ever get to see the Brennemans.)

I mentioned to my roommate yesterday morning that I was going to NU Homecoming on Saturday. She immediately thought that I was talking about my high school, since she went to a college where there was no football team. That got me thinking to what kind of college experience I would have had had I gone to a college where sports wasn't a big thing, like say...University of Chicago. Now, I'm not saying that my life revolves around college sports or that I can even name any college athletes, but there's just something about the camraderie that you feel when your entire school gathers at a stadium to cheer on fellow students. Well, that and early Saturday morning tailgates. What kind of school spirit do schools without sports teams have? I don't know, and I'm glad that I'll never have to know.

I do know that I have a football game to look forward to on Saturday and a possible bowl game in the winter. And this makes me happy. :)

Until then, I have to put the finishing touches on my application essays.

Tick...Tick...Tick...

2005-10-24T20:30:00.000-05:00

...I think my biological clock is ticking. Does anyone know how to make it stop?

Here I am on the cusp of submitting applications for one of the biggest decisions of my life. Business school will take up 2 years of my life, and after spending hundreds of thousands of dollars and forsaking 2 years of salary, I know that I'll be headed back to the corporate world when I have my degree in hand. We all know that Type A B-schoolers like me are concerned with ROI.

So where do kids fit into this whole equation? (Being an engineer, it should be obvious to all of you that I like equations. In fact, I think that I'm going to start planning my days with algorithms.)

But seriously, I've recently found myself ooohing and aaaahing over kids everywhere. A couple of weeks ago, before the wintry blast of Chicago hit, I was sitting in Millenium Park with Law McGraw when a little girl came over and sat with us. She was the cutest thing ever. (I think that her father may have been hitting on this woman that was sitting near us, but we never actually confirmed what was going on.) This little girl sat with us for a couple of minutes, bounded away, and then returned with a stuffed Gonzo doll. She was so content to just sit with two strangers. Then, we saw another little boy in a button down shirt and khakis. He was so preppy, but so cute at the same time. I seriously started wondering and imagining what my future kids would be like and how much fun it would be to take them to the park on a Sunday afternoon. Now with Halloween looming around the corner, I've started to think about the potential costumes that I'm going to be making for them.

But when is all of this going to actually happen? Am I actually going to be able to put my professional life on hold to have bundles of joy? I guess that I can honestly say that I don't know right now. And maybe I won't know until I'm confronted with that situation.

Am I Good Enough?

2005-10-16T16:10:00.000-05:00

I'm starting to fall into the home stretch for my first round of applications. I'm shooting for the first three deadlines of Nov. 1, Nov. 3, and Nov. 4. I'm in good shape for Nov. 1 and 4, but for the application due on the 3rd, I still have two entire essays that I haven't written yet. And the sharp pains in my chest don't seem to be going away. There's going to be a lot of midnight oil burned for the next two weeks of my life. When will life return to normal?

The Silver Lining

2005-09-21T09:01:00.000-05:00

I need to learn to have more faith. Too often, I forget to trust other people and to believe that things will work out on their own. I try to be too controlling sometimes in things that I obviously can't control. This whole b-school application process has been such a learning process, more so than just learning data sufficiency and grammar for the GMATs. I've had the opportunity to reflect on my life experiences and to understand what it is that motivates me and pushes me to become the person that I want to be. I've already had several bumps in the road on this journey, and I'll admit that some of them have broken me down.

But this morning, my spirit was rejuvenated by the sweetest Northwestern administrator I've ever met. Apparently, my transcripts are lost somewhere between Evanston and Northbrook and have been lost for the past 20 days. Fortunately, things are somewhat going right for me and Marissa from the registrar's office said that she would give me new ones for free and that I could go in and pick them up. Oh joy of joys!!!

Although Luke normally calls me the eternal optimist, I've let this whole application process get the best of me. I need to start having that optimistic spirit again. I can't believe that I've lost even before I've started the race. I know that I'm just as competitive of a candidate as all those other investment bankers and consultants out there. All I need to do now is truly believe. I know that I'm tough and this process will not break me down.

The best part of all of this is seeing how much Law McGraw does love me. He has been wonderful in supporting me in this whole process -- from telling silly jokes to make me laugh to stopping by at night just to give me a hug after a rough day. I don't know where I'd be without him.

Sex in the City Gals

2005-09-18T21:27:00.000-05:00

Nothing in this world is better than good friends. Even better than good friends is good girl friends. I was fortunate enough to have a belated birthday celebration with three girls who are nearer and dearer to my heart than most other things in my life. I've known Lillian and In Young since I was about 7 years old and have shared a slew of memories, which include bike rides all over Northbrook, awkward encounters with guys, and late night heart-to-hearts. Jennie didn't enter my world until high school, but I can't imagine my high school years with out her. Though she may seem shy and quiet, Jennie is a barrel of laughs and never ceases to amaze me with her kindness. I'd like to thank all three of them for a fabulous night last night, which of course wouldn't have been a night out with the girls without its share of random occurrences. Who would have known that Cafe Iberico could be so packed on a Saturday night? Also, how embarassing can chocolate really be on a pair of pants? So for all of you single guys out there, here are three of the coolest girls in the city of Chicago...

And girls, we're going to have to get together again before Lillian's birthday. Plus, we need more pictures together. In Young's polaroid of us together is just not going to cut it.

Hot Diggity!!!

2005-09-12T18:00:00.000-05:00

Redemption was mine today!!! I retook the GMAT and my scored improved by 70 points. Whoopppeee!!!! I scored in the 99th percentile, meaning that if I walked past 100 people on the street who had taken the GMATs, only one of them would have scored higher than me. I think that the most redeeming fact about all of this is the fact that I never ever have to take the GMATs again!!!! No more sentence correction or critical reasoning. No more reading boring passages about science or minority issues. But best of all, no more data sufficiency questions. I will admit, however, that I can now calculate the probability of flipping a coin 4 times and getting heads at least once. Hmmm....I wonder how I could use that to my advantage.

But in all seriousness, I know that I would have been able to do all this without the support of the people closest to me. So thanks to my parents, my brother, Law McGraw, and the countless friends who have provided me with words of encouragement on this long journey.

Sadly, the journey is not over yet. I now have about a month and a half to compose lots of essays. Don't these schools realize how difficult it is to express your most significant acheivement in 250 words or less? Come on, most of my emails about nothing are at least 500 words. In fact, I'm pretty sure that this blog entry is way more than 250 words. Things would be so much easier if I weren't so verbose.

While I go out and celebrate my GMAT score, I'll leave all of you with a picture of where I'd like to be next year...

Congrats!!!

2005-08-27T01:59:00.000-05:00

I'm so proud of Law McGraw! He got a job offer from the firm and will be fully employed at the end of school next year in San Francisco! Now all I need to do is find a way to fanagle my way in to Haas or Stanford. Let's all pray that things go swimmingly for me.

Will the Stress Ever Go Away?

2005-08-18T10:17:00.000-05:00

Well, I took the GMAT and got a good score. Sadly, though, the score wasn't as good as I was hoping. It's also about 10 or 20 points below the average score of my top choice school. I know, I know. I'm in the range of accepted scores, but seeing as how I'm slightly below the average for various other categories, it might be beneficial for me to retake the test. So I signed up for it again. Three weeks from now, I'll be donning the headphones and retaking the test. But I'm not as stressed this time, since I somewhat know what to expect. Hopefully, the abated stress will help me focus better during the test.

Of course, retaking the test means that time will be taken away from my actual applications. But seeing as how Round 1 deadlines for my top choice schools are at the end of Oct, I'll have a solid month and a half to work on the applications. That should be enough time for me to wow them with my personal essays. In addition, Law McGraw volunteered to read over my essays, and since he's a phenomenal writer, I'm thinking that will work out very well.

Aside from all the b-school hell that I'm enduring, I need to find a new place to live. Lillian's moving back to Northbrook, which means that I'm left to fend for myself. Oh how I hate looking for apartments. I wish that I just didn't have to move anymore. My parents said that I could move in temporarily with them, but the idea of that is just not very hot to me. Sure, I'd be saving loads on rent, but I can't imagine what life would be like with them again. Besides, I wouldn't have anything to do after work and Law McGraw would be significantly far away. So if anyone knows anyone who needs a roommate or is willing to house me in the city, I would greatly appreciate it. Otherwise, you may find me in a cardboard box somewhere on Belmont.

I Will Overcome You...

2005-08-02T21:47:00.000-05:00

...and let the stress begin to ebb.

I've been extremely stressed out for the past couple of weeks due to the upcoming GMATs. It's gotten to the point where I've been extremely tense and have lashed out at people who don't deserve it at all. Mainly my parents and my brother. I don't remember being stressed out for the SATs or the ACTs. I know that a lot of it comes from the fact that I've been putting so much pressure on myself to do well on this test.

Today, I finally realized that I had completely lost focus of what I was doing. Sure, who doesn't want to go to HBS or Kellogg? Those are once-in-a-lifetime chances. But it doesn't mean that life ends just because I don't get in to one of those schools. Over the past couple of days, I've received numerous emails and phone calls from people wishing me luck. I realized that I have a great group of friends who are supporting me and wishing the best for me. And I can't seem to thank all of you enough. Especially a certain Harvard Econ grad student who wrote me quite the lengthy catch-up-on-the-past-6-months-of-my-life email.

I reread the graduation speech that Steve Jobs gave at the Stanford Commencement. I realized that as long as I have passion and faith, I'll do just fine in this crazy journey. It doesn't matter where that b-school diploma is from. I just need to keep that passion burning in my heart and have faith that everything will work out.

Panic Attacks

2005-08-01T14:37:00.000-05:00

5 days left until the GMATs. Please pray that I will do well on them. Until then, I will retreat into my cave and try to calm the stress that brews in me every 5 minutes.

Shine, My Child, Shine

2005-07-21T22:54:00.000-05:00

Today was a super long day at work. For the past 24 hours, I've been playing CSI:Dialysis Land. One of our patients experienced a traumatic experience yesterday, and my boss and I had to play detective to try to figure out whether their trauma was due to a faulty design or a user error. There's nothing like trying to piece together 20 different files and 3 different personal accounts of the story to try to figure out what really happened. On top of that, pictures of bloody tubing and parts don't mix well with lunch. In a way, sadly, it was kinda fun. The un-fun part was reporting our findings to upper management. Now, I feel that providing investigation results to "hot" issues is a chance to shine in the eyes of the management team. It's your chance to show these people that you are both calm under pressure and that you know what the hell you're talking about. I have no problem with either of these issues. I'm a fairly calm person and I can usually persuade most people just by being confident. Lord knows that it's gotten me this far, so I'm not ready to let go of it yet. Anyway, the part that I hate is that management expects you to make decisions that they are being paid the big bucks to make. The biggest decision out of every patient trauma is whether this risk is possible for all of our patients, and if so, what is the severity of it? These questions usually lead to other questions, such as what corrective or preventative actions need to be taken? From there, we have to make decisions on whether or not we need to recall anything or to stop anyone from treating. Now, I have no problem making decisions. The problem that I do have is that I don't have an MD. I can't make decisions on what kind of medical consequences will occur if the patient continues to treat on a faulty machine. As far as I know, they may die. Isn't that always the worst possible scenario? So for me, I always tend to lean towards the conservative side. I'm not a conservative person, but when other people's lives are at stake, I'll be as right-winged as I need to be. But management always disagrees with this. They don't want to take people off of their machines unless we can statistically show that these people are significantly at risk. I don't think that I need to show that 99% of the time, these people are going to get error X and die. If I can show at least one instance in which someone can get error X and die, then I think it's significant enough of a risk.

I look at these managers and wonder if that's who I'll be one day. Will I be waiting for a twenty-something year old to tell me what kind of decisions to make? Maybe. Just maybe. I'll give them their chance to shine.

How I Love the World of E-cards

2005-07-17T00:03:00.000-05:00

If I was single and I received this in my inbox, I would totally say yes.

Random Thoughts from a Random Girl

2005-07-16T01:12:00.000-05:00

So this post will be filled with lots of random events and thoughts that have been floating through my head as of late. And by that, I basically mean today.

First, I got back today from a business trip to Charlotte, North Carolina. This was my second time to that city, so it wasn't anything spectacular or new. I did, however, learn that Charlotte is the largest city in both North and South Carolina. Plus, Charlotte is a banking mecca, since 4 large banks are headquartered there. Another thing I noticed was the way that I'm treated whenever I go anywhere south of Chicago. Maybe Asians are just rare down in those southern parts of the US, but I've always been asked the same question. Whenever I'm in the airport, at the car rental agency, or in a cab, I'm always asked, "Where are you from?" Now the first time that I heard this, I figured they were asking where I was traveling from, since that question seems to fit with the scene. When I respond with Chicago, they make it obvious that that was not the answer they were looking for. They always follow up with, "No, but you look Korean/Chinese/Thai." This is usually when I have to explain that I really was born in Chicago and have, in fact, never been to China before. This seems to ruffle their feathers and put them in a frenzy, because they just can't seem to understand how an asian girl could be from Chicago. Does this ever happen to anyone else?

In addition to returning from Charlotte, I seem to also have brought back a stomach virus with me. I've spent most of the day either flopped on the couch or with my head over a toilet. Pleasant, let me tell ya. I haven't really been able to hold down any of my meals and have seen each of them one time too many. Not only do I feel extremely dehydrated, but I'm also starving. I normally need about 6 meals to exist, and now I can't even hold one down. This is not keeping the tapeworm happy.

This past week, my company had a re-organization and my department was essentially wiped out. Now, don't worry, I still have a job. I have a new boss and a new department. There are many good and bad things associated with this. I'm a bit sad that my old department has dissolved, since I felt that we were a really cohesive group that just worked well together. All of our personalities complemented each others and we had good rhythm together. We were all congratulated for doing such an excellent job. Apparently, we did such a good job that they didn't need our department anymore. I am, however, excited about my new group. My new boss is actually my ex-boss's wife. I'm fairly good friends with her and I know that she thinks very highly of me. In fact, she said that she has wanted me on her team for the past 2 years, but was never able to provide a good enough trade to get me on her team. Interesting to think that managers attempt to make trades like professional sports teams. She has promised me that I'll be involved in a lot more design work and that I'll be getting all the "fun" assignments. I somehow tend to think that she and I probably have different definitions of fun. But regardless, I think that it's going to be a good next step in the career.

Last, I would just like to say that I have the best boyfriend in the world. While I was bed-ridden for most of the day, I received a fabulous package from him that made me smile. He had previously told me that he had sent me something, but for some reason it took over 2 weeks to get to me. Maybe somehow, things worked out such that it would be delivered when I needed it most. So now, I have acquired a new zoo of animals, soap, a magnet, and a bobblehead. Nothing could make me happier. :)

Wedding Planning = Fun?

2005-07-01T13:06:00.000-05:00

Seriously, I think that I must have missed the day in "girl" classes when they taught all of us that if you have to sit down to pee, then you must love weddings and planning them. The other night, my apartment was Wedding Central. Our living room was filled with wedding magazines and books. I didn't even know that there were this many magazines published about the topic. My two roommates and two of their friends were huddled around a 12" powerbook examining the details in digital photos of other people's weddings. In addition to that, there was rampant oohhing and aaahhing over table settings and reception halls. I honestly had to leave the room.

Now, don't get me wrong. I have nothing against marriage. In fact, I have gotten so much better about the whole thing. There were about two years in my life after I broke up with an ex-boyfriend that I never ever wanted to get married. The idea of it was so repulsive and I envisioned myself enjoying the rest of my solitary life. Luckily, all of that has changed, and I've definitely embraced the idea of marriage with slightly wider arms. It probably helps that I have a fabulous boyfriend. But that doesn't mean that I want to sit around and pick out table settings and bridesmaid dresses.

Someone said it best when they told me that girls look forward to getting married while guys look forward to being married. I'm all with the guys on this one. I'm looking forward to the day when I'm married and starting a new life with the man I love, but I'm totally not looking forward to the whole planning process. I honestly don't want to pick flowers or bridesmaid accessories or anything like that.

Does this mean that I should start standing up to pee?

Lincolnshire Lager No More

2005-06-24T20:59:00.000-05:00

Two entries in one day. This must be a personal record.

I just got home from a department happy hour at the local micro brewery near work. The happy hour itself was a fun time for everyone to let loose on a Friday afternoon, but the service at the brewery left less than desired. Our Senior VP told us that he was picking up the tab for all of our beers. When the waitress brought me my beer, she asked me whether I was going to pay cash or start a tab. I told her that a tab was already existent for the 5 tables of people who were there. She insisted that there were no open tabs and that I would have to pay cash for the beer. Of course I didn't believe her, but fine, I gave her my money. About twenty minutes later, she came by and said, "Oh somebody has started a tab, so all the following rounds will be on that tab." I'm pretty sure that the tab was always open but that she was just mistaken and unaware of it. And her final statement about someone finally opening a tab was just her way to cover up for her mistake. Because of all her attitude and her insistance on the fact that there was no tab previously opened, I left her no tip. I initially felt bad about it, but quickly got over it. I thought that the customer was always right. Whatever happened to those days?

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

2005-06-24T08:32:00.000-05:00

Below is the text of the commencement address by Steve Jobs delivered on June 12, 2005 to graduates at Stanford. I know that a lot of graduation speeches are trite and overly sugar coated; but as I read this, I realized that I had become a cynic to all of it and that was the wrong attitude. Everything that is stated in this speech is a little trite, but it's so true. For all you that are frustrated or dissatisfied with something in your life, now is the time to speak up and to make a change. I know that after reading this, I have started to make small steps to restore my faith in so many things that I thought I had once lost on this crazy journey called life. Hopefully, this will inspire all of you to do the same.

"I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: "We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They said: "Of course." My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down - that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me – I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.
Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. "

Blubbering Like a Fool

2005-06-18T15:45:00.000-05:00

I don't know what's come over me recently, but I've been succumbed to tears after watching various television commerical and movies. Take for example the commerical that I saw last night. I'm not sure if any of you have seen it, but I'll do my best to describe it.

The commerical is one of many in a series used to advertise the vast line of credit cards that Chase (Manhattan still?) Bank has to offer. In one commercial, it shows a man as he evolves through significant stages of his life and the various rewards cards that he uses to pay for things. This one didn't make me cry as much as it just gave me this warm tingly feeling in my stomach. The idea of meeting someone, falling in love, and spending a lifetime together just warmed my stomach and made me feel incredibly happy and lucky.

But the one that really gets to me is the Chase commercial where it shows a father and a daughter preparing for a wedding. As the daughter is trying on her wedding dress in the store, you see dad holding his credit card and watching his beautiful daughter. The commercial goes on to show all the other preparations involved in the wedding -- the decorations, the walk down the aisle, the first dance, etc. Interspersed with all these scenes are flash back scenes of the father and the daughter involved in almost the exact actions. I realize that this is not the most descriptive blurb, but you would recognize what I was talking about if you saw it.

Anyway, I think that I blubber when I see this commercial because it makes me think of the relationship that I have with my dad. I've always been Daddy's Little Girl. Whether it was trips to museums or ball parks, family vacations across the US, or just hours spent watching basketball games on tv, there wasn't anything that my dad and I didn't enjoy together. As I think about my own future wedding date, it brings tears to my eyes to think that I'll be leaving the first man that I loved for another.

Happy Father's Day!

Eternally Pregnant or Home to a Tapeworm

2005-06-09T20:44:00.000-05:00

Is it weird to have weighed the same exact weight for the past decade? Don't get me wrong. My weight fluctuates plus or minus 5 pounds everyday, but it's usually always in the same ballpark. And it's been this weird since I was in high school. The only thing that's weird about that is the fact that I eat like a cow. I seriously need about 6 meals to sustain energy all day. When I don't eat, I start feeling weak and cranky. I'm not a pleasant sight at all. Just ask my co-workers. Some of them have even seem me slumped over at my desk due to hunger pains.

I don't understand the grown men at my company who eat only a Lean Cuisine tv dinner for lunch. Those things are like appetizers to me. There is NO way that something that small could keep me satiated all day. I eat a fairly large lunch everyday and I still find myself snacking throughout the day. My parents and Ben are horrified by the amount of food that I eat when I go home and have dinner with them. I'm pretty certain that Mom and Dad don't think that I ever eat. Mikers and Vivien are also usually fairly horrified by the amount of food that I eat. Whenever I go out with either of them, I'm usually in a state of food coma post-meal. One time, Vivien even felt the desire to tell our waiter at Pizza Metro that I was capable of packing away a lot of food. He just looked blankly at both of us. But I'm pretty sure that Law McGraw can attest most to my eating habits. There have been several occassions where I have fallen into a deep food coma after a meal with him. I'm apparently a barrel of fun and more. Luckily, he's the sweetest guy in the world and he just lets me sleep it all off.

Now, one would think that I would be extremely fat based on my 6 meals a day and my knack for napping post-meal. Fortunately, my metabolism is super good and seems to counter all my meals. We'll see what happens once I've had my first child. So I've come up with my own theories on the situation. (1) I must be eternally pregnant if I need 6 substantial meals to get through the day or (2) I have a tapeworm named Henry who is my other half and actually digests most of my meals. Regardless, most people eat to live, but I seem to live to eat.

5...4...3...2...1...

2005-06-02T08:42:00.000-05:00

Day 5 of 93. I definitely thought that it was going to be easier than this. I don't know how people do this for years on end. I miss Law McGraw a lot.

Also 66 days left until the GMAT. Let's all pray that somehow I master the art of Data Sufficiency sometime before then. Can I someday create a test that everyone has to take in order to get into graduate school, yet seriously does not predict performance at all? What a fabulous business. I have to hand it to those people at ETS.

Who would have thought that my life could be full of so many countdowns? One will definitely lead to a fabulous reward. The other may only bring temporary relief until the next countdown.

I Will Survive

2005-05-26T23:06:00.000-05:00

I just re-read my last post and realized how utterly depressing it was. Love is a beautiful thing, and I don't think that it's meant to be understood. So all my negative ranting about it was just that - ranting.

In other aspects of my life, I honestly think that I've had it with my job. Sure it sounds cool to be a dialysis machine designer. In fact, it's even cool to think that my designs impact someone's life every single day. But all the politics and poor management of my company is killing me. It makes it very frustrating for me to go to work everyday and to have to deal with it. I see so many opportunities for improvement, but it's hard to get my opinions across, because my company believes in the elder system. If you're gray and old, then your opinion is highly valued. I don't understand that at all. Now don't get me wrong. Experience is very valuable in every realm of life, whether it is work experience, love experience, or just plain life experience. This is why my parents and Ben will always be smarter than me. This is not to say, though, that young people with little experience are clueless as to what happens around them. The youngest members of my company are the work horses. We know every design and every aspect of the system. Without us, the company would get nothing done. So when we see that a process is inefficient or just plain stupid, we're not saying that just because we like to hear ourselves talk. We all have the best interests of the company in mind. At my company, however, your opinions are valued only if 1 of 2 things occurs -- either you have white hair or you have 20 years of dialysis experience.

Maybe this is why I feel like all signs are pointing towards me leaving this place. I've always wanted to go to business school and now just feels like the right time to start the whole process. Sure, I don't have as much work experience as most other applicants, but I've had over 3 years of experience at the same start-up company. I've seen the whole gamut of mistakes and management errors.

Now if I could only ace the GMAT and score myself some killer recommendations. Well that and convincing Stanford that I'm the best thing since sliced bread. Strangely, I'm not too scared yet about everything. Maybe I really have grown up. I've finally come to realize that everything does work out and everything in my path is something that I can handle.

Aside from trying to conquer the GMAT, I'm slowly realizing how different life will be in the next couple of weeks. Everyone is leaving Chicago for the next stages of their lives. Adrienne is off to Ann Arbor to become a big, bad lawyer. Vivien is headed for the Big Apple to start a residency in internal medicine. Along with her, Jim is also headed out there to start his urology residency. In addition to that, Law McGraw is going to be in San Francisco for 3 months. I'm going to miss him terribly, but I know that it's just temporary. And for that, I am happy.

What is Love?

2005-05-14T01:22:00.000-05:00

Is there such a thing as being too nice? When you love someone, don't you do everything in your power to prevent them from being hurt?

For me, loving someone means accepting all his faults, respecting him, and doing everything in my power to prevent him from being hurt in any way. But does loving someone come at the cost of me? Does loving someone mean that I have to end up being the one who's hurt? Does it mean that I have to be the one who's always compromising what I want and giving in to what he wants? Or is that just because I'm too nice and I would rather that I be sad than him being sad?

Someone once told me that I was too selfless. I give in to others too easily to ensure their happiness. I'd rather that I be unhappy and disappointed than them. Maybe this wise person was right. Maybe I do need to be more selfish sometimes. I'm not strong enough to be disappointed all the time. Sometimes, I need someone to love me and to give in to what I want.

Maybe I don't understand love as much as I thought that I did. Maybe things are too good to be true sometimes. All I needed was a slap from reality to wake me up from my fantasy world.

2005-05-11T00:34:00.000-05:00

Still Alive...

I swear to y'all that I'm still alive. I've just been sort of MIA. The dialysis community has kept me super busy with all kinds of projects. Sadly, there has been no out-of-town trips, but the in-house projects are still sucking up all my time. In addition to that, I've been attempting to do loads of strength training at the gym since I took a body fat analysis test the other day and was told that I needed to build some muscle mass. And in between these moments of lifting weights and analyzing dialysis data, I've been trying to brush up on my sentence correction and critical reasoning skills. Did anyone know that it's correct to say "I prefer rice to pasta" and incorrect to say "I prefer rice over pasta." Color me purple. I always thought that the latter was correct. So if I haven't responded to your emails, voicemails, phone calls, or actual invitations, I'm sorry. Once I ace the world of standardized testing, I will resurface.

Before I return to the world of subject-verb agreement, I will leave you all with a nice close up of my face that Law McGraw took of me this past weekend. Note: an update of our weekend jaunt to Milwaukee will soon be published, complete with pictorals. I promise to get to it once I've mastered the art of verb tenses.

2005-04-21T21:53:00.000-05:00

Hotlanta Hotties!

This past weekend, I was fortunate enough to attend the wedding of two of my close friends from college, Nancy and Caleb. It was my first time to Hotlanta, and I guess that I enjoyed what I saw. Better than the city was just the time I got to spend with old college friends. It was weird to see that everyone had grown up so much. Seven years ago, we all met in the hallways of dorms in Evanston. The big discussions back then were our hometowns, our majors, and where the next party was located. But this past weekend, those discussions were all different. We had all grown up so much. Almost all of my friends from college are either married or engaged. What once was a conversation about which dorm or what end of campus we lived on had now become a talk about buying homes and planning weddings. Once upon a time, a discussion about buying a home or getting married would have freaked me out. I would have immediately run away from that talk. But I realized after this weekend that I had also grown up. For the first time, the idea of marriage and settling down didn't seem so scary anymore. That's not to say that I'm going to get married tomorrow, but I can imagine myself doing it at some point down the road.

I must admit that the best part of the weekend was hanging out with my old Kemper roommates, or Kemper whores as we often were referred to. (Note to all: We're not actually whores. There's a long story behind the name, but it has to do with the first floor of Elder Hall.) It's not everyday that I get to hang out with these girls since we live in different cities and have numerous things going on in our lives. I had somewhat forgotten why it was that I enjoyed being friends with them. Whether it was stuffing our faces with meals and desserts, shopping in Decatur, or trying to accomplish the impossible of getting ready for a wedding, I loved every moment that I spent with these girls over the weekend. It's these moments that I will cherish forever.

To the Brennemans, congratulations and I wish you the best of luck in your life together. Caleb, you're now a "real" member of the Kemper whores. :)

2005-04-14T00:21:00.000-05:00

I've been somewhat MIA for the past couple of weeks. Mainly, I've been trying to balance my personal life and my professional life. At work, there's always a fire that needs to be put out in the dialysis world and that keeps me very busy on the weekdays. On the weeknights, I've been trying to brush up on sentence correction and critical reasoning skills. It's amazing how much of the English language I seem to have forgotten; despite the fact that I speak it every day. On the weekends, I try to catch up with friends and spend as much time with Law McGraw as he can handle. Kidding, kidding. The boy actually humors me very well and puts up with my crazy ideas all the time.

Below, you'll see a picture of my personal and professional lives crashing somewhere in Europe. Newton, a very prominent figure in the dialysis world, was sent off to spend almost two weeks in Prague, Berlin, and Copenhagen with Law McGraw. Now, imagine a young innocent owl who normally pops up in the dialysis world at conferences to promote hemodialysis. Some may call him a night owl, but he rarely parties and never inhales. His poor little lungs just don't work as well as human ones. (That's according to a soon-to-be MD.) Two weeks in Europe and Newton is a changed man owl (or is that mowl?). He's become a Marlboro man and a beer-guzzling wench all in one fell swoop. Pretty soon, he'll be hanging out at the neighborhood Hooters.

Love Notes from the Heart

2005-03-30T09:37:00.000-06:00

I'm not your typical girly girl. I don't like the color pink. My favorite color is blue. I never had a Barbie doll growing up. I played with Legos and beat Ben at Monopoly. I don't like hearts. I'm more of a star kind of girl. I don't expect Prince Charming to come sweep me off my feet. I make my dreams happen myself. I ask guys out. I don't spend hours getting ready and can barely apply eyeliner correctly. I don't like movies like The Wedding Planner and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. I take out the garbage, change light bulbs, and even unclog toilets when I have to. I'm an engineer. However, that's not to say that I don't appreciated being treated like a girl.

But can someone explain to me why 3M has decided to send me 2 pads of free post-it notes in the shape of a heart? One of these pads showed up at work and the other at my apartment. These pads include purple, hot pink, and baby pink post-its. Is this their way of trying to get me to embrace my estrogen? Do they send these things to guys?

I've decided that I'm going to slap one of these hot pink hearts on to all of my memos at work. Let's see how the manly engineers like these.

Love Me Even More

2005-03-24T20:33:00.000-06:00

Back to what I do best: fill out forms.

Thirteen random things you like:
1. Waking up and feeling the sun beaming on my face
2. Having a patient tell me that I've made a difference in his/her life
3. Finishing an entire crossword puzzle by myself
4. The way Law McGraw pushes the hair out of my face
5. Seeing someone's eyes light up when they get excited about something
6. The feeling of sand in between my toes on a beach
7. The sun setting behind the Chicago skyline
8. Being caught up in the hustle and bustle in the city without a care in the world
9. The sound of the crashing "waves" on the Evanston lake fill
10. Seeing a father hold his baby for the first time
11. Baby penguins waddling at the zoo
12. Receiving an unexpected letter, card, postcard, or package in the mail
13. The adrenaline rush that kicks in while I'm running

Twelve good movies:
1. Memento
2. The Usual Suspects
3. Lost in Translation
4. Never Been Kissed (two words: Michael Vartan)
5. Amelie
6. Love Actually
7. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
8. Garden State
9. The Shawshank Redemption
10. Best in Show
11. Infernal Affairs
12. Sideways

Eleven good bands/artists:
1. Belle and Sebastian
2. Norah Jones
3. Elliott Smith
4. Dave Matthews (come on, you have to admit that the man is somewhat talented)
5. Counting Crows
6. Coldplay
7. Wilco
8. Snow Patrol
9. Modest Mouse
10. Jimmy Eat World
11. Nestor (my favorite open mic performer)

Ten things about you ... physically:
1. I have stick straight hair
2. I have virgin hair (it's never been dyed or highlighted)
3. I have a fold in only one of my eyelids (and this seems to flutter from right to left)
4. I have ridiculously long toes
5. I wear size 7 shoes
6. I weigh less than Mikers' dogs
7. I'm convinced that my left leg is slightly longer than my right leg
8. I have a very big head
9. My left hand is purely for symmetrical reasons
10. I don't so much have the "birthing" hips

Seven favorite drinks:
1. milk
2. Nantucket Nectarfizz
3. Orangina
4. Green beer
5. the Lincolnshire Lager
6. frozen mango margarita
7. Mango Madness Snapple

Six Things that annoy you:
1. People who constantly complain that their lives are so difficult
2. People who type LiKE tHiS
3. Emails that have no punctuation in them
4. People who brake like banshees on the highway
5. People who don't appreciate how lucky and fortunate they are
6. People who think that they're better than everyone

Five things you touch everyday:
1. Ernie (my cellphone)
2. Harry (my laptop)
3. my car
4. the PHD
5. my toothbrush

Four shows you watch:
1. Gilmore Girls
2. Law and Order (SVU, Trial by Jury, etc...)
3. Check Please!
4. Jack and Bobby

Three things you look for in a guy:
1. Loving/Caring
2. Trustworthy
3. Smart and Witty

Two things you hate:
1. When someone/something hurts one of my friends
2. Mayor Daley's Political Machine

One thing/person you love:
Law McGraw

And there you have it...another smattering of me condensed in list form.